Reincarnate - Marie Stang Voices on the Path

Voices on the Path-

A Collection of Interviews

Reincarnate

Marie Stang

http://www.facebook.com/marie.strang
Email: starbringergallery@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Starbringer/80550233043?sk=info

First can you briefly tell us about yourself? What is your profession? Any special hobbies?
I've been happily monogamously married for over 23 years. My husband and I have one wonderful daughter who is just about to start her second year of college. I have red hair and green eyes. My profession was supposed to be graphic designer, but I never found a job in that field. Currently, I'm doing some housecleaning and I would like to get more clients. If I don't then I'll apply for a job at the mall, which I'm not looking forward to but will probably have to do since I can't get a job doing what I'd really like to do. 


I'm also an artist and would loved to have made money at that but I haven't so it's just a hobby. I do have a Web site and a shop at Cafe Press, for what it's worth.


www.starbringergallery.com
www.cafepress.com/starbringer
I paint, draw, write, sew, and embroider. I love to read. I'm interested in fantasy, sci-fi, mysteries, and Celtic, Scandinavian, and Asian Mythology.


I'm also a martial artist. I don't put this in the category of "hobby", though, because it's a lifestyle (or compulsion) and not a mere hobby. I am a black belt in tae kwon do and karate. Several years ago, I studied hapkido, but currently I do karate, Japanese swordsmanship, and tai chi.



When did you begin your path? What inspired you to walk this journey?
I lived out in the country when I was a little kid, in a little town called Unadilla. Our neighbor was a grandmotherly woman who had forty acres of pine trees with paths among them. I would go out there by myself and wander among the trees. Beyond the pines there was a hill and more paths and other trees and a marsh. I had a really profound experience out there in the woods one day when I was about six. I went to the hill overlooking the trees and just sat quietly for a long time. I felt something from the trees and plants, something spiritual, as though they were "talking" to me. When I went back home I told my mother that the woods was my church! I've felt that way ever since.


Also when I lived out in the country, we neighborhood kids used to play on these two ancient oaks that we called the Grandmother Tree and the Grandfather Tree. They were huge and easy to climb. There were books and toys stashed in them by who knows how many kids. I don’t think the adults knew about them at all. The grandparent oaks were a special, secret place only us kids knew about. Those trees also added to my feeling of the woods and nature as a sacred place.


My parents raised me Christian, but I never felt comfortable with that religion and never really believed it. I couldn't stand the sexism that seems to be inherent in Christianity; the Bible is rife with sexism. I also didn't like the contradictions in the Bible and I just couldn't make myself believe in a God that told his soldiers to rape women and kill babies. The Biblical God seems so immoral to me. And the Bible has been copied and translated so many times, who knows what the original really said? I think it best to base my beliefs on Nature, not books written by men.


In many ways, I have always been a Pagan, I just didn't know that was what my beliefs were called until I was about 18, when I began reading books about Paganism.



Can you tell us a little about your path? How would you describe yourself?
I'm not much into rituals, so I don't consider myself Wiccan, although there are things I like about that path. I just call myself a Pagan, and my definition of Pagan is one who bases their spirituality on Nature. I am also interested in Buddhism and Tao and find both to be very compatible with my Pagan beliefs. I may or may not believe in a deity (the Buddhists understand this) so I'm sort of an Agnostic Pagan.


I'm also interested in Druidism. I was with a Grove for a while and although I loved Druidism, I didn't like many of the people in the group. Asa Tru is interesting, but I haven't found any kindred among the Kindred, either.


My rational mind (logos) tells me that there is no god, but another part of my brain wants to believe in something (mythos.) The ancients had these concepts of logos and mythos, logic and myth. The physical structure of our brains seems to reflect this. Rationally, I know there is no god of any kind, but there is part of me that wants and needs to believe something, some story, some myth and that part doesn't care if the myth is true or not. It doesn't matter if it's true or if the gods and goddesses are real or not. Their stories still serve a purpose. I think that purpose is mostly psychological. They function as role models and archetypes. Because of the sexism promoted in the monotheistic religions, I often feel a need to see Deity as female, to provide a balance. The basic family unit is Mother, Father, and Child and that makes sense to me to have that as a Trinity. Religions that see god as exclusively male inherently exclude and devalue the feminine.


The "mythos" part of my mind also wonders if the gods, goddesses, and spirits are real in so far as I believe that we all have a soul and the gods and goddesses were once human but their souls did not reincarnate but became Deity. Nature spirits seem to be some sort of energy, perhaps soul energy. I'm not sure, but I know I feel something from nature that is more than the sum of the parts of the plants and animals. I feel and sense something when I sit in a forest or meadow and wait and listen. 
"Deity" is that thread we all have in common, the light we all share, the bond that connects us to each other and nature. "Deity" is the tiny particles that everything is made of: it is the Mother, giving birth to the Universe; it is the purest form of Love. Maybe Frank Lloyd Wright said it best: "I believe in God, only I spell it Nature."


Reincarnation is also part of my beliefs. I like the idea of the Summerland a lot--growing young again and reincarnating. I think there's something to that, although I also feel that after we die, we go where we think we're going to go, at least at first. I have feelings and impressions of some past lives, and very definite and clear memories of others. 


I remember floating in space. I remember feeling trapped and lonely (in the womb?) 
I have this one particular memory. A few years ago I finally asked my mom about it because I had always had the memory but couldn't figure out how old I was at the time. I remember looking at my parents. They are outside. There is some snow on the ground. They go into a house and down into a basement where someone is having a party. My mom takes her coat off and she is wearing a blue dress. I sense that she is uncomfortable. I couldn't figure out how old I was when I remembered this. If my parents were at a party, wouldn't I be home with a sitter? So I told my mom all this and she went pale. She said the only time she went to a party, in a basement, with my dad in the winter and wore that blue dress was in December of 1967. I was born in 1968!


I also have a memory of being born, or rather, just after I was born. I'm looking down on my mom from above then I'm lying on my side, looking over her leg. There is a bright light and I sense other people in the room. That's it, just a few "snapshots."


As for past lives, I have always had feelings and impressions of what is familiar, things half-remembered, but then there are other things that are more definite. One night, back in the early '90s, I had one of the most profound and memorable dreams of my life. Although I was deep asleep, I did not realize that I was sleeping. I felt fully awake, although I was disoriented. I wasn't sure where I was. Hot, dry sand and a few short, scrubby plants surrounded me. The sun was bright in a cloudless sky. As I looked around, I couldn't recall if I was in Kemet (Egypt) or what is now called the Middle East. I heard someone call my name: Anen.  


As soon as I heard my name, I was no longer disoriented. I knew I was in Egypt. As I stood on the edge of the desert, a messenger came up to me and told me that the king wanted me to assassinate Ajeh. I was upset. Just the mention of Ajeh upset me. I hated him, I was jealous of him, but I was also upset because I didn't want to kill him. I was torn. The king wanted me to kill a man I hated, yet I knew I couldn't do it. The king's command caused me great anguish.  How do you tell a king that you don't want to obey his command? I walked from the edge of the desert back to the temple and I stood there, agonizing.


I was in this state of anxiety when I woke up. Suddenly, the hot sun and sand and blue sky were gone. I didn't know where I was. Imagine my surprise when I looked down and saw white skin and breasts, of all things! How did those get there? Where was the king, the messenger, the desert, the temple? Why wasn't I a man anymore? It took me a several minutes to realize that I was a white woman living in a small town in the U.S. in the 20th century. I was stunned. When I was dreaming, the dream felt just as real as it feels as I sit here now.  


Once I finally came back to this world, this reality, I wrote down my dream. Then I went to my bookshelves and searched through every book I had on Egypt. None of them had any information on Anen, so the dream wasn't inspired by anything I had seen in those books before. I searched everywhere for information on Anen. I went to a museum in Ann Arbor that had a collection of Egyptian artifacts, but still no Anen. I hadn't seen anything on TV about him, either. We didn't have a computer or internet service back then, so I couldn't do a search. My local library didn't have any books that mentioned him. I found nothing that could have influenced my dream; I found nothing to explain it.


Months went by. My husband and I decided to go on a little day trip to Pelee Island. We were sitting on the ferry boat on our way there, when I noticed that someone had left a magazine on the seat. The front cover was face down and I was looking at the back cover. I snatched it up immediately. On the back cover was an advertisement for an exhibit at the Cleveland Museum of Art. The exhibit was of the artifacts of Amenhotep III. I had to go! I knew I had to be there!  


When we got back home, I looked through my books again, but found nothing about Amenhotep III except for a mention of his name in a timeline.  I only had a few books about Egypt at the time, despite my lifelong interest, and they were mostly about Tutankhamun, whom I had always been curious about. Amenhotep III was either the father or grandfather of Tutankhamun. There is some confusion because Amenhotep III's first son, who was born Amenhotep IV but changed his name to Akhenaten, caused a revolution and great upheaval by becoming the world's first, true monotheist and trying to destroy the religion of his ancestors, but that's another story. Tutankhamun was either the son or brother of Amenhotep IV (Akhenaten.) I saw an exhibit on Akhenaten, too, but that was later (and again, another story. . . .)


More time passed and finally the day came when we decided to go to the exhibit at the Cleveland Museum of Art. My husband took a vacation day and we headed down there. One of the first things I noticed in the exhibit was the giant stone head of Amenhotep III! I stared at that in awe for a while, then moved along, looking at all of the figurines, glassware, murals, and so on when I came to a statue on a plinth. The statue itself was roughly my height (not including the base) and made of a flecked black stone. I was immediately drawn to this figure. I stared in amazement at his stance, his face, the star covered leopard skin he wore. I looked down at the sign that bore his name: Anen.

That was just how I spelled the name when I wrote down the dream that I'd had about a year before. I have never been so stunned or awestruck in my life. I stared at the statue for the longest time.  
Everyone around me, my husband included, was completely unaware of the miracle I had experienced. It always happens that way for me. The only times in my life when I've experienced something miraculous, I've either been alone or the people around me have no clue as to what happened and there's no way for me to make them understand. I told my husband about the dream and the statue and so on, but he didn't know what to make of it all. He was bewildered.


I learned that Anen was a priest, an astronomer priest in particular. He was also the brother of Queen Tiye, who was Amenhotep III's primary wife. So Anen was the king's brother-in-law. I saw a bust of Queen Tiye in the exhibit and her parents were represented as well. Anen died before his nephew, Tutankhamun, was born.


A few years later, in 1995, I went to a convention of non-mainstream religions called ConVocation. Actually, the convention was open to people of all faiths but when the mainstream religions realized that non-mainstream faiths would be there, they backed out. So it ended up being people of faiths that are in the minority in this country, like Gnostic Christians, Buddhists, various Pagan faiths like Wiccans, Witches, Druids, and so on.  


At this convention were people of the Kemetic faith. The head priestess, Tamara Siuda, is an Egyptologist who has re-created the ancient Egyptian religion and runs a temple in this country (in Chicago, I think.) Kemet is the original name for Egypt; the word "Egypt" is Greek.


I talked to Tamara and the other priests who were with her and they listened to the story of my dream. They said I knew details that only an Egyptologist would know. They verified that it was not uncommon for a king to ask members of his court to assassinate someone. Assassination was very prevalent among royal and noble families in ancient Egypt. I told them about the confusion that I had at the beginning of the dream—was I in Egypt or the Middle East? They said that it is believed the Queen Tiye and Anen came from the Middle East; they were probably Hittites.  


Just seeing the statue of Anen after having that dream was a profound experience on its own, but it was really confirmed after I met with the Kemetic priests. Although I have tried, I cannot put into words how deeply this experience has touched me. The experience was subjective, so I cannot prove it completely to anyone but myself, but for me it serves as absolute proof that we reincarnate.


Although this particular experience had the biggest impact on me, I’ve had others, too. I’ve had bits and pieces of memories, impressions and feelings. I recognize people and places, sometimes it’s definite, at other times it’s almost intangible. I know I’ve had lifetimes as men, as women, as all different races in various time periods.  


Before the dream I related above, I had another dream where I saw many, many incarnations of myself. I was in a place filled with light and I looked through portals in the mist and saw myriad versions of me—from the palest albino to the darkest-skinned African and everything in between.  
I had many lives in Egypt: in addition to Anen, I was a prince who died young from a fever, I was a scribe, and more. The Egyptian lifetimes were short. I was also a knight, a Quaker school teacher, a Druid, a witch/herbalist, a samurai, a sailor, a pirate, a gangster’s moll, a Greek sculptor, and on and on.


I believe that I've been nearly every race, color, and nationality and that belief has made me a more tolerant person. I think knowing about all these past lives is one reason that I can’t stand racism or sexism or any kind of discrimination. It’s always been easy for me to put myself in someone else’s shoes and see things from their perspective.


And the concept of reincarnation fits with my Pagan beliefs; nature goes in cycles, so do our souls.
Some people don't like the concept of reincarnation because they believe that it leads people to not value their current life, but that is untrue. Although I have lived many lives and will continue the cycle, I value my current life just as much as any other because I will never have this body, this life, or these particular experiences ever again. 



Does the path you've chosen affect your profession? If so, how?
I don't think my past has affected my profession, or my attempt to have a profession. 



Is community important to you, or do you prefer to express you beliefs as a solitary?
Community would be nice, but I've had to do without. I just haven't found a group of kindred spirits. 



Are you associated with any organizations, volunteer work, or groups that support your spiritual beliefs?
No.



Would you say your path has been an easy or difficult journey? Any advice for someone new to this path?
Some things have been easy in that I've never abandoned the core beliefs I've always held within myself and known to be true. Sometimes it has been difficult to have beliefs different from the mainstream and to not be part of a community of like-minded individuals.

I have a life long interest in herbalism and have used herbs and home remedies to successfully treat a variety of ailments. 



Finally, what three books would you say most influenced your path.
When I was about 18 I read Women's Spirituality by Diane Stein and The Spiral Dance by Starhawk, then in my 20s I read Tarot for Yourself by Mary K. Greer. These books helped me put a name to the beliefs I had always had.